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Since my first post on Tiny Buddha entitled “Why I Didn’t Kill Myself and Why You Shouldn’t Either,” I’ve been doing amazingly well. I thought I had this suicide stuff in the bag. I thought it lived in the past. I thought it was no longer a part of me. I thought I had found my way forward and that I would never feel that way again. I thought my suicidal ideation was a historical part of my existence. I was wrong. Tonight, I sat in the bath watching the water trickle down from the faucet and all I could think was how...

Since my first post on Tiny Buddha entitled “Why I Didn’t Kill Myself and Why You Shouldn’t Either,” I’ve been doing amazingly well. I thought I had this suicide stuff in the bag. I thought it lived in the past. I thought it was no longer a part of me. I thought I had found my way forward and that I would never feel that way again. I thought my suicidal ideation was a historical part of my existence. I was wrong. Tonight, I sat in the bath watching the water trickle down from the faucet and all I could think was how...

If you are a lifelong anxiety warrior like me, you’ve been on a journey of ups and downs. Anxiety fills our whole bodies. Tension. Heart pounding. Sometimes I feel like my heart must be visibly pulsating so much so that if there are others around, they can see it. There are varying levels and types of anxiety, including clinical disorders. But the thing that we have in common is that at times we feel intense despair—like the world is caving in on us. We can feel literally stuck and life may even feel meaningless.